Engagement

Engagement can be defined as 'an arrangement to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time.' 

This Memorial Day weekend, my sister had her second of two engagement parties and it was in Pennsylvania. So that's where I was for the past three days...in the center of Pennsylvania, in the middle of a celebration, amidst my own quiet introspection of my life and the reflection on lives of the people closest to me..my family.

My sister is a lucky woman. Watching her with her fiancee and his family, in a situation of true happiness and comfort, made me feel...secure, I guess. The weekend may not have been a huge getaway for me, but my mind received a much needed vacation from everything back home. The change of scenery was beautiful, and almost healing for a bit. Perspective is a peculiar thing. People can see things from different angles, both physically and mentally...and sometimes the former can impact the latter.

An arrangement to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time. I have so much I need to do. Being away, I got to thinking of how I have ended up here. A 23 year old man holding on to this ideal vision of his future, yet being a wallflower of life's awkward dance, wondering if I should make my way out there...second-guessing my potential and fearing rejection or failure.

I got to get out there. I gotta cut in. I'm only at this dance for a fixed time...and I'm a good dancer.

Sick of the metaphors? Me too.

With that said, enjoy Memorial Day. Engage in something.

- Daley

Continuum

The summer is quickly approaching and I've realized that it's going to be a recuperation period. 

For the past year, my head, my heart, and my spirit have been on one hell of a roller coaster ride. Now, I'm not one for amusement park rides, so maybe this is a cheap and meaningless metaphor, but it seems fitting. All in a year, I've been to the highest of peaks, and the lowest of lows, anticipating greatness, yet sometimes falling short. Sometimes I've wanted to scream, and sometimes all I could do was hold on with all my power. And there were the times when I felt true greatness, like I was right where I was supposed to be in that moment.

This summer, I'm focusing on me.

I don't have much planned for this summer. Less clutter will make for a more free, relaxed mind...and that's what I need now. Progress will be my theme for this summer. I'll make a lot of progress with my novel. I'll make financial progress by bartending. I'll make progress as a man. I'll make progress and get ahead before the next school year starts and I take on more responsibility in the school. I also want to take a road trip at some point...by myself. Somewhere I can be alone, inspired, introspective. Wilmington comes to mind...

I guess in the end, I just want to be happy. That's all anybody really wants. I'd like to make people around me more happy too. Sometimes I feel I fall short there. I need to be the best version of myself.

I need to recuperate.

It's not easy.

- Daley